We had a great time of renewing relationships in the Vineyard Chiang Mai gathering and be on the receiving end of prayer ministry for a change! On a faith meter gauge, I guess now I am about 6.5/10. God continues to show his grace in our fellowship. Truly we (in NLV) enjoy so much of his favor in our lives.

Not to be ungrateful or unthankful to him, yet to be honest every week when we do our Sunday service I face apprehension about who will come. The numbers affect me yet I don’t really care about it. And after each service I really feel that I have not short changed anyone who came! Does any one know what I mean? Hahaha.

I am in this funny place of being sure and certain about the good that I can do and fruit that can be produced out of NLV. I am so at rest with this work, and love the message and the ministry, and the new people that he has brought to us. I so believe that we have really have good stuff, the worship, the word and the works. Thinking about the price people have to pay to come with us still makes me “cry”. They are loyal, faithful, and I know that they have grown, and in a way that also makes me cry.

But the problem is in the “validation”. People vote with their feet. Why aren’t more people drawn to us? If only the fellowship will grow. Every one gets to play but how I wish that people have more of a choice. If only service could clearly come as an offering, done voluntarily and not because there aren’t enough warm bodies. Hahaha.

Some one said recently that yeah we hear the prayers and the prophecy, but Lord, show us the “money”. I just heard John Wimber’s tapes given at the CM gathering and he said, when you see the hungry and cold, you don’t just say, be thou filled, and be warm. Words and works, give the guy a coat and food, la. In a sense, I’m filled with the words, but I desperately need the works demonstrated. And also it’s like if you’re hungry you say don’t give me a pat on the shoulder, buy me a bowl of noodles. Without being ungrateful and unthankful, I ask you Lord bring me more co-workers and call the ones meant for NLV to us quickly. Validation also in backing up and substantiating my ministry after I share the message about the kingdom. More presence more power!

I have also bought into the line/thinking that the best people for NLV are the ones we bear witness to and steal from the strongman. Bring me to that field where it is “white unto harvest” I am a ready workman even though I still need to learn the right story/line to tell such people. Teach me, gently please, open my eyes to see, and strengthen me when I am bold. Let me model it for new life vineyarders!