A short time after we had independently decided on New Life as the name of the Vineyard fellowship that we were planting in Singapore, I discovered that a number of vineyard churches also had the same name. These included the Vineyard church in Kelowna founded by David Ruis (wow). To my pleasant surprise I also found that a very highly regarded leader in the USA Evangelical movement, Ted Haggard, was senior pastor of a fellowship unrelated to the Vineyard called the New Life Church. At the time, it was somehow “reassuring” to think that “New Life” was associated with a number of successful Vineyard church plants and Christian leaders/pastors.

Accordingly Ted Haggard’s recent exposure and his subsequent Statement to his church confessing to sexuality immorality came as a blow and disapointment. If you are a mature Christian, you will take this news in your stride. However, for newer Christians and unbelievers, what are they to think? I was glad that Don Williams, from the Vineyard movement, who founded the “kingdomrain” website had shared his perspective on this issue.

I quote Don below:

“What are we to make of this?”

First, of course, Jesus calls us to confront our own sin. “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.” (John 8:7) In the context of Haggard’s demise, we must specifically confront our own addictions. As Gerald May says, “We are all addicts in every sense of the word.” (in Addiction and Grace) But the first symptom of addiction is denial. Clearly Haggard was in denial over his sexual addiction and confused sexual orientation. The fact that he was (and is) a sexual addict appears clearly in his statement, “the darkness increased and finally dominated me.” Paul puts it this way, “Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, with a continual lust for more.” (Ephesians 4:19) Every addiction is progressive. The brain easily reaches tolerance to alcohol, or gambling or sexual images and activities. It demands more of the same for the same effect. This is why our addictions will finally dominate us and even kill us.

Too often we think of an addict (say sexual addict) as having an affair, going to a massage parlor or compulsively finding pornography on the Internet, even daily. But part of the diagnosis of addiction is the “Addiction Cycle.” It starts with the build-up phase. This can include a sense of loneliness or emptiness and growing lust which becomes mood-altering, lifting depression or fear through chemical changes in the brain. Then there is the “compensatory phase,” the acting out. (In Haggard’s pattern, going to Denver monthly to stay in a hotel and hook up with his male prostitute). This is followed by the “relief phase.” In Haggard’s case, sexual release. But then the addict goes back into the build-up phase, now with more guilt and shame over his or her behavior. The build up may go on for several weeks before the acting out takes place again. Clearly this was Haggard’s mode – and through it he became fully addicted – he simply could not stop the behavior or short-circuit the fantasies. As he admits, “There’s a part of my life that is so repulsive and dark that I have been warring against it for my adult life.”

Whatever assistance Haggard sought over the years, as he says, proved ineffective. He lived the tormented life of Romans 7: “For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do – this I keep on doing.” (Romans 7:18b-19) We can imagine that spiritual disciplines or cryig out to God in repentance didn’t work because, as they say in A.A., “You are only as sick as your secrets.” What Haggard was unwilling to experience was the public exposure of his sexual struggle and the consequent accountability to his wife and close brothers. He claims that he kept his sexual activities secret from his family, “those I love the most because I didn’t want to hurt or disappoint them.” This is Haggard’s addiction speaking. He claims that he refused transparency for their sakes, not for his own exposure and healing. But such exposure, from a shame-based life, would be a death experience, and Haggard had to cling to the false part of his life (which was serving him) or die to it. No one freely chooses death. Now, by the revelations of this gay prostitute, he is forced to die to his shadow life, his ministry, his reputation, and his own self-image. We hope, in the long run, that he won’t also have to die to his marriage. We do know that in Jesus, there is life after death, the cross is followed by the empty tomb. We pray for new life for Haggard and for all who suffer from the denial over their own addictions that, spiritually speaking, are idols in their lives.

What can the church learn from this tragedy?

First, leadership in the “Star-system” is lonely and costly. Therefore, leaders must be held to accountability in community, and this includes sexual accountability. This will only happen when all the exposure of our sin is on the table and we experience being fully loved and fully forgiven with grace plus nothing. Paul always ministered transparently in a team and so must we.

Second, leaders must rarely travel alone without wife or close brothers or (in the case of women) sisters. Again, to quote A.A. “When you isolate, you’re sick.” Isolation, which Haggard programed into his life by going to Denver “to write,” opened the door for the enemy.

This leads us to the third point, Satan is a real antagonist and we are locked in a spiritual battle. Much of the “good time” preaching of popular evangelicalism down-plays this. Although Haggard believed in spritual warfare (at least abstractly), he cherished his media fame and taught his congregation to handle reporters, “Don’t talk about the Devil, demons, voices speaking to you….” In other words, avoid revealing the spiritual battle raging. Now, for New Life Church, this season has clearly passed.

Fourth, be honest (without being salacious) about your own struggles and sins. If you are in leadership transparency and resulting behavior will protect you and keep you on the road to holiness (wholeness).

Fifth, seek active healing prayer for past pain. Most people attrracted to same-sex relationships have been sexually abused as children but often are in denial over this (many suffer from blocked memories) or have concluded that they are gay because someone was sexually attracted to them as children. Others are looking for the father they never had, seeking to import lost masculinity into themselves sexually. We not only need counseling (which may be helpful), we need the power of the Spirit coming in healing prayer, not simply intercession, but prayer for effect – in the name and authority of Jesus, his kingdom come, and the power of the Spirit and we need a trustworthy community to go through life with. Let us hope and pray for Haggard’s healing and a new season for evangelicalism – out of denial and into the fulness of God’s healing and grace. Our churches must become beacons of hope for the broken and addicted because we ourselves are the broken and addicted.

Unquote

Christian fellowship or community is a means of God’s grace. If nothing else, this is one truth that has become deeply ingrained from the past three over years church planting journey. And as one placed over the fellowship there is double honor in the role of the pastor/shepherd. Yet there is an awesome responsibility. Therefore, continue to pray for your pastors, love them, hear them, and do make them accountable.