When I awoke this morning (Saturday, 19 June 2004) I remembered receiving a word in my dream.

Was it an angel, the Lord himself or just my own desire expressed in a dream?

The word was, “See you in heaven” and I believe that it was about Mom.

Mom is critically ill. She was admitted to hospital last week with swelling in the right leg. They discovered she has severe Deep Vein Thrombosis, which stretched from the hip down to the toes.

They also felt some masses in the abdominal area, which was confirmed to be cancer in her uterus.

Mom was discharged from hospital on Monday, without any treatment. Her DVT condition is likened to a “time bomb”, which can detonate at any time. Good old doctors have said in this kind of cases, there is at least a 90% mortality rate or chance of a blood clot moving to a vital organ and killing her.

There was a time several years ago I feared that when Mom eventually goes to be with the Lord I would not feel any grief.

I was afraid because we have not truly spoken to each other, or related in any meaningful manner since her second stroke in December 1990.

In Dad’s own words, “She was not the same after that”.

The second stroke had more or less wiped out her personality and she does not show signs of recognizing any of us. She has become very childlike, and exhibits dementia. She would be irritated and agitated (howl) when there was close contact (such as a hug). But Mom had already lost most of her ability to speak after her first stroke – that happened in 1976/1977 while I was in National Service.

In jest I have said to the family that she may outlive us, as she no longer has any worries. Her face had smoothened and the lines less obvious, when she had put on weight from being bed bound and inactivity.

I have no doubts at all that my earlier concern over my ability to grief is coupled with feelings of guilt. I could have devoted more time to be with Mom after her second stroke.

I have personally thanked God for even Mom’s stroke. Her illness had led to both Mom and Dad coming to receive the Lord. Mom was baptized after her first stroke and Dad, only in March 1991. (It seems an awesome price to pay for salvation. But one has to consider that the price is not worth comparing with the glory and value that we have obtained in Christ Jesus).

And I have also prayed through the years for her complete healing, for the restoration of her speech, and finally God willing, for him to take her to be with him in heaven.

“See you in heaven”. God is gracious to prepare the family for Mom’s departure to glory.

“See you in heaven”. If Mom could speak now, I am sure that her greatest desire is for us all in the family to be eventually re-united in heaven. There, whole and perfect, we will pick up on the relationships that was started on earth. Therefore, it is also a message for the beloved ones she will leave behind: An encouragement, an exhortation for each one of us to be faithful to the end, and to run the race in the manner so as to win the prize set out for us.

Post Script: Mom did soon go home to be with the Lord; she was promoted to glory at 8.30 am on 21 June 2004. She went on her way with such peace after all her children said their individual goodbyes. In the word of one grand-daughter,

When gold dust rained down from Heaven,

She went home to be with God

To hear ‘Well done good & faithful servant,

for a journey well-run and battles fought’.

You’re no longer chained to a broken body

Or held captive to a mind that doesn’t obey

Cos in fields of gold you’ll now run freely

And I’ll rejoice to see you there some day.

Even all these years when i’ve asked ‘why’

To be met with deathly silence

At her dying moments you finally replied

And this is what You said

“Look at her body no longer

Look past the broken and weak

See what i’ve done on the cross for you

And think of what i did.

From life to death to Life again

She’s now clothed in lilies’ white

For this is where true Life begins

To never leave my sight

I’ve conquered death and sickness

So don’t worry and quake with fear

You each have a wonderful purpose

And that’s why you are here.”